an experience;;

every conversation we have is like sex to me

wen yu open yur mouth its like foreplay

yur words begin to stroke every sensitive part of my soul and give me this tinglin sensation

and i become mesmerized by the very pronunciation of the words yu speak

and as the conversation gets deeper

and deeper

and deeper

i suck yu in

and i indulge in every ounce of yu

and the better it gets it becomes orgasmic

and not only does my body shake

but yu send my mind on a whirlwind

and before i kno it

yur words give me a sensation that can only be compared to an orgasm

and then im fulfilled

FRiENDSHiP;;

so does anybody remember wen friendship was that easy? as simple as a pinky promise or sitting down and sharing yur lunch. those were the good days i guess. but as we grow those simple days slowly begin to fade away. we grown into our own and suddenly that bond that used to be so tight has weakened and begins to drift into sumn unknown. at one point all the secrets ya'll used to share became secrets that yu witheld from one another and within a blink of an eye that perfect vision of friendship is blurred like me tryna see w/o my contacts lol. i think its so funny how things change. one minute yu think that yu got yur right hand. yur ace. that one person that would never let yu down. and then they pull a fast one that makes yu look at them completely different. so wat does friendship really mean? and wen the attempt to make it go beyond friendship is taken how do yu react? especially if thats not in yur itinerary...wen the awkwardness arises between a duo that was never more comfortable with anyone else do yu keep playin like everything is ok or do yu leave it alone and just wait for it to all blow over? i wish i could fully express to yu just how ANGRY i am wit yu. no matter wat imma love yu but HOW COULD YU? yu had the audacity to smile in our faces and pretend everything was cool all the while havin underlyin intentions. i guess i cant fault yu fa wat yu did. but how yu did it was completely incorrect. i can fault yu for making it awkward. for changin the entire basis of our friendship for basically 4eva. maybe im overreacting. but i highly doubt it. and the sad thing is yu will prolly never kno bc yu think wat yu did was ok. but its wateva. so i really wanna kno...wat does bein a best friend mean nowadays?? 

just sumn to think about...

CONFUSiON:// WEN yU DK RiGHT FROM LEFT ANyMORE AND WEN yU FiND RiGHT,,iT JUST DOESNT SEEM AS RiGHT ANyMORE. WEN yU DK iF yUR COMiN OR GOiN, AND THOUGH THAT WAS ONCE EXCiTiNG AND THRiLLiNG, iS NO LONGER OKAY. WEN EVERyBODy THAT ENTERS yUR LiFE && FOR SOME REASON DECiDES TO LEAVE, TAKES A SPECiAL PART OF yU WiTH THEM && yU BEGiN TO SLOWLy LOSE yURSELF W/ EACH "PASSER-By"yU DK WHO yU R ANyMORE && DK WHERE TO BEGiN THE SEARCH OF "FiNDiNG" yURSELF...AND FOR ONCE iN yUR LiFE; GOOGLE DOESNT WORK. LOST:// THATS WAT yU ARE. yU BEGiN TO FEEL ALONE. iN THE DARK WiTH A FLASHLiGHT AND DEAD BATTERiES. LiKE THE WORLD iS WORKiNG AGAiNST yU AND yU CANT FOR THE LiFE OF yU FiGURE OUT WHy. WEN "WHy" iS THE ONLy QUESTiON yU CAN SEEM TO UTTER, AND EVEN THAT HAS NO MEANiNG B/C iT SEEMS TO HAVE NO ANSWER. EVERy TURN yU TAKE iS iN THE RiGHT DiRECTiON TO NOWHERE AND LiFE BEGiNS TO BLUR.yU WALK ON EGGSHELLS B/C yU SO BADLy WANT THiNGS TO BE RiTE, BUT yUR TiRED OF BEiN SAFE;;TiRED OF LiViNG FOR OTHERS [[THATS NOT LiViNG]];;TiRED OF BEiN UNHAPPy iN THiS WORLD. iN yUR OWN SKiN;;SO yU BREAK FREE && YUR FOUND AGAiN. yUR yUR OWN PERSON && EVERyTHiNG FEELS SOOO RiGHT. yU'VE ACHiEVED yUR EUPHORiA && NOTHiNG iN THiS WORLD CAN BRiNG yU DOWN. yUR HiGH. HiGH ON HAPPiNESS. LOVE. FULFiLLMENT && JOy. CLOUD 9 iS 3 CLOUDS BENEATH yU.iTS A PROCESS;;LiFE, THAT iS...AND NO MAN HAS EVER ACHiEVED GREATNESS W/O HAViNG ATLEAST ON FOOT ON THE BRiNK OF iNSANiTY. CONFUSiON CAN CAUSE yU TO LOSE YUR MiND!!...&& iTS O K A y !! LOSE iT!! GO CRAZY!! iT ONLy MEANS yUR H U M A N...SO BE HUMAN! GET CONFUSED B/C iF yU DNT, yU WiLL CONTiNUE TO LiVE iN iGNORANCE...&& iGNORANCE AiNT BLiSS, AS THEy SAy. iN ORDER TO ACHiVE TRU BLiSS yU HAVE TO LiVE FOR yURSELF. KNO WAT MAKES yU HAPPy[[&& KEEPS yU HAPPy]] && WAT DOESNT. iF iT DOES, KEEP iT AROUND. iF NOT, GET RiD OF iT. iF iT HAS POTENTiAL, DNT PUSH iT AWAy B/C yU NEVER KNO WAT yU MiTE LOSE. FiND yUR TRU HAPPiNESS. yU MAY HAVE BEEN LOST, BUT EVERyONE GETS FOUND AGAiN. iTS OK TO BE LOST. CONFUSED. FEEL LONELy. NEGLECTED. ABUSED. SAD && DOWNRiGHT BROKEN. ONCE yU REALiZED THAT yU DNT HAVE ..OR.. DESERVE TO FEEL THAT WAy, yUR ALREADy ON THE ROAD TO FiNDiNG yURSELF AND FULFiLLiNG yUR OWN UTOPiA....

el-oh-vee-e

LOVE...LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE...TO WAT DO i SAy ABOUT THEE?? yU ARE ONE SNEAKy...NOUN?? THE ONLy WORD THAT SUiTS yU B/C NOBODy KNOWS iF yUR A SPECiFiC PERSON,PLACE,OR THiNG...yU ARE SOOO TRiCKy!! EVERyBODy HAS ENCOUNTERED yU IN SOME WAy, SHAPE, OR FORM ATLEAST ONCE iN THEiR LiFETiME BUT NOBODy CAN DEFiNE yU;;DESCRiBE WAT yU LOOK LiKE...NOT EVEN WEBSTER'S DEFiNiTiON LiVES UP TO THE EXPERiENCES PEOPLE HAVE HAD WiTH yU. WAT i DO KNO iS THAT yU ARE SO SELFiSH. HOW DARE yU WRAP ME UP iN yU??TAKE My HEART AS yUR HOSTAGE AND DO WAT yU WiLL WiTH iT?? yU HAVE MADE ME FEEL iNDESCRiBABLE AND UNiMAGiNABLE THiNGS AND ONLy yU, LOVE, HAVE THAT POWER. BUT HOLD ON NOW LOVE, B/C THE POWER THAT yU HAVE iS NOTHiNG COMPARED TO THE POWER THAT US FOOLS GiVE yU. WELL FiLL OURSELVES WiTH LOVE, AND BEFORE WE KNOW iT, yUR iN US. LOVE...i THiNK i NEED TO TELL yU ABOUT yURSELF B/C SOME DAyS yU HAVE ME ON THE HiGHEST OF HiGHS;; && OTHERS, yU LEAVE ME ALONE,BROKEN,TORN APART AND TO THE POiNT WHERE THERE ARE TiMES i WiSH i COULD WRAP My SKiNNy FiNGERS AROUND yU AND LEAVE yU HOW yU'VE LEFT ME ON MANy NiGHTS;;LO. && yU KNO WAT i SAy TO yU?? FUCK yU!! FUCK yU, LOVE! yU CANT JUS COME iNTO My LiFE AND DiSTORT My ViEW OF THiNGS. yU CANT JUST OPEN ME UP AND LEAVE ME...DRy;;THiRSTiN FOR MORE. SO FUCK yU LOVE! WAT HAVE yU DONE FOR ME? BESiDES CONFUSE ME CONSTANTLy...BESiDES KEEP ME AWAKE DURiNG THE NiGHT? BESiDES MAKE ME SiCK TO My STOMACH AT THE THOUGHT OF LOSiNG yU? FUCK yU, LOVE B/C yU DNT DO A DAMN THiNG FOR ME...EXCEPT,
HOLD ME CLOSE AT NiGHT.BUT FORGET ALL THAT...WHy SHOULD i PRAiSE yU? GiVE yU GLORy B/C yU ENTER AND LEAVE My LiFE WHENEVER yU CHOOSE? i THiNK NOT! yU DNT GiVE ME ANyTHiNG EXCEPT THE RUN AROUND;;OOOH, BUT WEN iM RUNNiN W/ yU, LOVE, i NEVER WANT TO STOP. yU GET ME ON THiS HEROiNE-HiGH AND i NEVER WANT iT TO END;;BUT WEN iT DOES, WiTHDRAWALS ARE A MOTHAFUCKA. DAMN yU LOVE!! WHy MUST yU PLAy THESE MiND GAMES?? GOT ME UNABLE TO SEE THiNGS iN THE LiGHT...OR DARK;;
THATS My WORLD WiTHOUT yU.yUR LiKE My BEST FRiEND, AND i DNT EVER WANT THiS THiNG WE GOT TO END, LOVE...SO i NEED yU TO STOP; STOP PLAyiN HiDE AND SEEK B/C My HEART, DESPiTE WAT yU MAy THiNK, iS NOT A GAME. SO WAT iN THE HELL ELSE DO yU DO FOR ME, LOVE? BESiDES LEAVE ME NOTHiN BUT MASCARA AND TEARSTAiNS ON My PiLLOWCASES TO WAKE UP TO?
[LAUGH] yU WASH THOSE CASES....WASH EM AND COOK ME BREAKFAST AND MAKE ME FEEL LiKE iM A QUEEN AND AT THAT TiME AND PLACE, THERE'S NOWHERE ELSE i'D RATHER BE THAN iN THAT MOMENT WiTH yU, LOVE. 1+2=2 && THAT 2 iS ME AND yU BABy! && OOH, NO ONE CAN DO yU THE WAy THAT i DO, LOVE [WiNKS]. BBy, WEN WE iNTERTWiNE WE'RE LiKE THAT FAMOUS LiNE FROM "BROWN SUGAR"...yU KNO THE ONE;;
"A PERFECT VERSE OVER A TiGHT BEAT,"...HyPNOTiZiNG;;MELODiC. WEN yU COME iNTO ME, LOVE, iTS A CONTiNUOUS ERUPTiON
&&iNEVERWANTiTTOSTOP [HEAVy BREATHiNG]...[SiGHS] BUT iT DOES && AGAiN iM LEFT WEAK;; yEARNiNG FOR MORE && SCREAMiNG AT THE TOP OF My LUNGS "FUCK yU LOVE!!!" ALL THE WHiLE WiSHiN yU WOULD COME BACK. i FiNALLy GiVE UP ALL HOPE AND DECiDE NO MORE!! i WONT LET yU COME BACK...WONT LET yU DO THiS TO ME ANyMORE...&& THEN yU CALL;; && THEN yUR THERE && iM iN yUR ARMS AGAiN. CAUGHT UP iN THE RAPTURE OF yU AND PREPARiN MySELF FOR yU ALL OVER AGAiN, LOVE. i CANT STOP;; && i DNT WANT TO. [LAUGHS] WHy MUST WE PLAY THESE GAMES? i COMPLETE THAT CiRCLE iN yU && yU KNO yU NEED ME JUS AS MUCH AS i DNT WANNA ADMiT THAT i NEED yU. BUT yUR SO SELFiSH SOMETiMES yU DNT EVEN SEE iT AND yU JUS WANNA CONTROL ME LiKE SOME TOy CAR, SO yU KNO WAT?? i LOVE yU, LOVE, BUT FUCK yU..................iM SRRy...i SHOULDNT TALK TO yU LiKE THAT...[DEEP SiGH] HERE WE GO AGAiN....

Addicted

this is something like the illest shit i ever wrote
cuz baby yur something like the illest kush i never smoked
my dutch;i get it; split it; fill it up with youinhale; hold it in and begin to choke on your synonyms metaphors nouns and adverbs
somthing like the illest shit you ever spoke.
i exhale and try to see thru the smoke as my thoughts blur
tryna figure out exactly what it is about her.
she got my mind gone.
its my system that yur in.
needles and pins pins and needles i stick in my arm to inject yur passion in my veins
you take me over
my body your kingdom and over it, you reign.l
iquid crack;im hooked and i can't go back.
tying up and cutting off my circulation all the while floating in my own lil nation; thinking about you.
my high coming down and alone i coast when you leave my system.
ready for my next fix;so i pour you in my cupgot me leaninim so f_cked up off you i swear that im dreamin
lingerin on the feeling of the icy glass to my lips;somthing like the sweetest kiss.
i sit back and reminisce about the first time,how i put you on my table and admired your fine lines.
through my canal yu shot,you hit my spot and instantly pleased me in every aspect.
using my connect; tryna get thru to you.
wanting you to get over here and do what you do.
you're always on call anytime day or night making my body feel just right
making my mind soar and my very essence take flight.
body shaking violently tryna figure out just how you do this to me.
then im coming down.
i crash.
and then i burn.
its for you that i yearn.
without you there's no me.
i need to kno, how could we let this be?
everytime you leave me i get sick.
now i see that i cant quit;
im addicted.